I love drinking big dirty black pints of Guinness. I had a nice few of them last night. And I now know why I love it so much. Because the glass has a harp on it, it reminds me of my payslip envelope, which I am frittering away at that very instant on black beer. It's like I'm not spending anything at all.
Guinness. The civil servant's liquid payslip.
(Stinks a bit on the way out, mind. Lucky I'm not at work.)