Tuesday, January 29, 2008

My EO stinks of garlic!

I was wondering why people were keeping their distance from me today. I thought it might be the worsening scowl on my face as the work load and associated problems increased. Whenever I left the office to go to the toilet (piss only!)/ photocopier/ coffee machine, I returned to find several leave application forms waiting on my desk. Returning the signed forms to their respective owners was done in a similar way, as the COs had fled from their desks before I reached them.

My boss provided the answer. Helpful as always, he pointed out that last night's fiery curry was making its way out through my pores and, thusly, making its presence felt. Particularly the fact that I had made the curry with three times the requisite amount of garlic. I minged like a vampire's worst nightmare. It could have been worse. I could have been farting uncontrollably (oddly, given my diet, this isn't a problem for me).

So now I have another technique for repelling unwanted clerical staff, who must all have some vampire in them. I can not, however, repel my boss. Garlic to him is like beer to me. I have to do some further research into this.

Maybe I should take some tips from the slightly weird guy in the office though. Nobody ever goes near him, and I think it's because he smells of asparagus. Or maybe he did his first wee of the day (which smells like that) in his trousers.

Err... maybe not.

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