Monday, January 12, 2009

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I've had to wash my mouth out today. Not surprising, the regular reader would think, considering the frequent bursts of staccato expletives that issue from me almost constantly. Maybe my HEO called me aside to tell me that I was upsetting the rest of the section.

Not quite.

Today I conducted PMDS Annual reviews with a number of people. I was organised, professional and courteous throughout each meeting. In short, very manager-like.

So where did the swearing come in?

It didn't.

Today in the meetings I used phrases - unconsciously I might add - that included:

"Going Forward"
"Across the Board"
"Sweeping Changes"
"Singing off the same Hymn Sheet"

Fuckityfuckityfuck! HEO-speak on an EO salary! Uhurrrgh! I'm turning into one of them!

I'm off to the church now to seek absolution before what remains of my soul is gone forever.


... well, at least I didn't use "Touch Base". I fucking hate that one.


PaulB said...

One of my old bosses used to bang on about throwing ideas out there for me to pick up on my radar. He was obsessed with radars.

Who the hell started all this management shite?

Sweary said...

"Going forward" is an utter abonimation. The Swearing Gentleman, wooed by such corporate bullscutter, started using it in every sentence about 6 months back. I told him he had a choice; it was either "going forward" or me. Going.

Govstooge said...

I'm sorry *sobs* this abomination will not happen again. I'll have to say "Cunt" at some stage in the next review to dispel the demons.