Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Piff paff poff!

I was going to write on this last night, but the double bill of Desperate Housewives got in the way (And I missed the last half of the second episode due to falling asleep so have to catch the repeat at the weekend, God dammit!).

Dustin's bid for Eurovison glory was, as you all know by now, quashed last night. And booed at. Philistines. I would go as far as to say that Europe has lost its sense of humour, but having watched the spectacle in its entirety, I'm inclined to think that yes, Europe has a sense of humour. It's just very, very different to ours.

Last night I saw:
  • A quartet of knitting Bosnian brides and an ugly git popping out of a linen basket.
  • Some Slovenian Sex Slaves.
  • Insane Estonians dancing around pictures of cake while looking like "Stalin on speed" (credit goes to a friend for this reference).
  • Four Norwegian babe clones.
  • A Polish singer who Marty Whelan described as having "the whitest teeth in the contest". Yes, because her skin was fucking orange! Whose teeth wouldn't look whiter against a background of Tango? (Probably the best singer of the lot, though.)
  • More mental metallers from Finland, who got my vote. We need another Lordi.
  • A Russian bloke who looked in pain as he sang kneeling on the ground. Someone give him some morphine for Saturday. I think he got through.
  • Lots and lots of near-exposed bottoms and boobies.
You would think that a farting turkey would have a good chance in amongst that silly lot, wouldn't you? Irlande Douze Points is a great, catchy dance number which really made an improvement on the John Waters-penned drivel that passed (probably out of his colon) for an entry last year. For fuck's sake, who puts the word "archipelagic" into a song? Pretentious twat.

Maybe it's time for us to bow out along with Italy and Denmark? We still top the stats in terms of most Eurovisions won. Even with our silliest entry in history, we are not silly enough to beat the knitting needles and the blokes with angel wings (Azerbaijan I think).

I'm still going to watch the rest of the contest though, so there will be more commentary to follow.

In the meantime, here's a link to a clip of my favourite (after My Lovely Horse, and of course, Irlande Douze Points) silly Eurovision entry.

Edit: Don't know where I got the idea that Denmark had bowed out. They're in this year's final...!


richie said...

The frightenny fins got my vote too. At least now the lisbon treaty hasn't got a hope. I can see the Revenge For the Turkey posters in my mind already.

Govstooge said...

Yes we will have to tell them all to get stuffed. Just what the fuck is it about anyway? (Dribbles)

richie said...

don't know. Just know that when our politicians say"Trust Me" it scares me shitless!

Mary said...

I voted for finland too - after all the generic 'i love you' boyband type songs and the wacky songs - the finish entry came as a breath of fresh air. I did not know of any of the songs in advance and about 10 minutes before Finland come on, i txted someone else who was looking at Eurovision and said - i could do with some Lordi right now - my prayer was answered - thank you finland! By the way - am not particularly into heavy metal but in these circumstances - will probably vote for them again - unless i hear a ritchie kavnagh type song about tractors - only joking!!!!