Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The End of the Affair

So. Deadline's passed. And no, I didn't enjoy the whooshing sound it made as it flew past, because I met it. Is nice! And I can once again engage with colleagues with my witty banter - as opposed to the complaining, swearing and sighing I've been treating them to recently.

The only question is - what to do next? I've cleared the piles of paper off my desk and found lots of things I'd forgotten about: an unchewed biro, a mini Toffee Crisp, a very old form and an out of date voucher for €2 off a six pack of Guinness (Yes, can't believe that one! That I actually let it go out of date!).

I have to invent a new project for myself to do now. Yes, there will always be day-to-day stuff to take care of, but I need something that I can work on over a number of weeks. I miss the big project you see. It gave me a genuine excuse to scowl at the HEO who was approaching with extra shite work for me to do; work that they could have done themselves but wanted to delegate for the sake of delegating. Now my desk is clear, I'm once again a target for this shite work.

So I've made a list of things I could be potentially getting on with:

Organise Christmas "do" - non-runner as another colleague is taking care of that. Phew.

Safety Inspection - already covered by the HEO as they get to walk around with a clipboard.

Draft my Job Spec and procedures for use by whatever lucky sod gets my job if I get a transfer. I will title it "So, you want to be an EO. Fool."

New section Floor Plan - deciding who goes where in a maniacal game of office chess. Generally a HEO job though because they get the best location for themselves in this way (By this I mean somewhere no-one else can see their screen, which has YouTube on it at least 80% of the time).

Do complicated statistical pie-charts, flow charts and bar graphs on Excel. Only they're not statistics. They're song lyrics, or random nonsense. Like the ones here. I've yet to think of my own ones and when I do, I'll post them. The thing is, they look like work. And they're funny.

Make a head-start on staff appraisals for the Annual Reviews in December. Head wrecking, yet strangely guilt free.

Write a novel. Looks like work from a distance. Only with swearing and sex and stuff. WooYay.

Take the easiest option and just upend the waste paper bin on my desk all over again and sit there scowling.

I reckon I've got plenty of stuff there to keep myself amused.

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