Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Country's Fucked! (Part Two... yadda yadda)

OK, I'm having another shot at the unemployed. Even though I know I shouldn't. I've been there. I know what it's like to have a civil servant scowl at you over the counter when you go in to sign on at 2 pm, and they say to you: "You should have signed on this morning". And you reply: "Well I couldn't fucking come in this morning because I had A JOB INTERVIEW, you septic old wagon!"

But anyway...

Recent elongation of the country's dole queues made me wonder today: What the hell are all these newly-unemployed people going to do to pass the time - and on the cheap? I suppose daytime TV will keep some of them amused (personally I would rather stick my head in the oven), maybe others will take up knitting or basket weaving or dry stone-walling, or possibly even writing a blog.

I imagine that many people will frequent the civic amenities, like libraries or museums or public toilets or parks.

Parks with duck ponds.

Where people can feed the ducks and they make that funny scooching sound as they enter the water and swim over. Ducks are cool.

Except, as the recession deepens, there will be an increasing likelihood of another unemployed person running up as folk throw the bread, interposing themselves heroically between the thrower and the duck, and gallantly snaffling the bread themselves before moving on to the next unsuspecting duck enthusiast. I can see it... a man with a P45 sticking out of his back pocket leaping along the water's edge towards a mother with two little girls and a stale baguette.

It'll be taking the bread line a bit too far.


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