Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Today's News

Two stories in today's news that shocked me.

Story 1:

This is about the discovery last August of a woman's body in the Department of Agriculture in Kildare Street. She had died in an unoccupied room on Friday 31st August, and her body was found on the following Sunday following a search by GardaĆ­. She wasn't much older than me. My sympathies to her family and colleagues. The sad thing is, I could see it happening in my Department. There are several people working there who don't interact with colleagues at all and many don't give them a second glance, and probably wouldn't even notice if they stopped moving at their desks. I could make any number of tasteless jokes, but I'll save them for the second story instead.

Story 2:

Our friends in the HSE have done it again. Since when do humans grow replacement legs? Have some people's genes been spliced with those of starfish? Did anyone care to notify the manufacturers of prosthetic limbs?

It gives new resonance to my favourite way of expressing distaste for a particular activity: "I'd rather eat my own arm." Now I can eat my arm, and it'll grow back. All I have to do is fill out a few forms. I can have my arm and eat it!

No comments: