Some HEO in another section emailed me today. Not unusual you say. No, it wasn't. Except it was in FUCKING TEXT SPEAK!
If I knew where their section was, I would have gone down there and shoved a mobile phone up their arse.
I am mourning the impending death of the English language. I think I'll read Melvyn Bragg's The Adventure of English again for solace. Followed by the Canterbury Tales. And some Stephen King for dessert.
And I will reply tomorrow:
My esteemed colleague,
Thank you for your electronic epistle. Unfortunately I was unable to ascertain exactly what it was you were trying to say. I think you may have a keyboard malfunction which is omitting vowels and reducing your message to a foul "vernacular" - if we may call it that - beloved of spotty types in Burberry baseball hats.
Please find yourself another keyboard immediately and write it all out again. Fucker.
With warmest regards,