Wednesday, October 17, 2007


New study:

Swearing is good in the workplace, apparently. It lowers stress, boosts employee morale and increases solidarity among staff.

This is the greatest news of all. Of course, managers must decide whether or not it is appropriate to swear in certain situations. In front of the public or senior management would not be a good idea, for instance.

As a manager, however, I swear quite a bit. This study will enable me to get away with more now. I have printed off the article and stuck it on my wall.

From tomorrow on, the world is my oyster. I am already looking forward to enacting the following scenarios:

Before: I'm sorry, it's not possible for you to have the afternoon off. We need to have this report done by the end of the week.
After: Piss off, you fucking slacker. Get back to your desk before I kick you up the arse.

Before: Did anyone see that form I had a few minutes ago?
After: Where the fuck is my fucking form? You fuckers.

Before: (To HEO) Sorry, boss, I just can't get around to that today.
After: Go and shite. You just want me to do your work so you can keep a eye on that auction on E-bay. Fuck off.

Before: I'm not sure I agree with the Minister's policies.
After: The Minister is a fucking c**t.

Did you just swear at me????

Endless possibilites.

1 comment:

galwaywegian said...

sorry. English report. English Newspaper. you can only swear at English people at work. Nothing has changed.