Monday, March 23, 2009

The Board Room

Meetings suck. I've gone on about them before. They're a great way of wasting time. And they're also a useful forum for managers to show off their command of Management Speak.

A language as obscure as Ancient Etruscan.

I'm generally to the point in plain English at meetings. I present facts and figures as they are and don't feel the need to build a narrative around them.

Today, in a meeting involving a certain degree of planning, I heard the phrases: "These will book-end the central issue" and "That should dovetail nicely with the earlier proposal".

Jesus.

When I asked if we needed to bring saws and hammers to the boardroom for our next meeting - because I thought we would be doing some basic woodwork (and making some useful things for the house), I was met with stony silence.

I think I'll bring them in anyway. Sandpapering a HEO's arse with weapons-grade sandpaper has always been a fantasy of mine.

3 comments:

galwaywegian said...

You hit the nail on the head there!

Govstooge said...

Thank you. Now I think I will shelve the issue.

Serial said...

>Sandpapering a HEO's arse with
>weapons-grade sandpaper has always
>been a fantasy of mine.

I'd imagine they usually have to pay handsomely to live out this fantasy.