Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Civil Service Spam

I hate getting Spam in my inbox. Loads of rubbish about penis extensions and Rollox watches and such other wank. And the odd pleasant missive from kind gentlemen in Nigeria offering me untold riches in exchange for my bank details. Must get back to them sometime when I'm less busy.

I hate the way it is sent indiscriminately. If they would only get their target market right. I mean, sending stuff about vacuum suction penis pumps to women?

It got me thinking, wouldn't it be great if spam mail was profession-specific?

For instance all the doctors would get the mails about cialis and viagra. And cocaine. Struggling students would get stuff about $100 Ph.Ds. The Progressive Democrats would be contacted by "Discount Funerals. Special Group Rate." Limerick people would be contacted by "Discount Funerals. Special Neighbourhood Group Rate."

And civil servants? We'd get some fantastic stuff. I've imagined it here (click to...erm... enlarge *cough*):

Then all these nice people selling stuff might actually get somewhere. In these tough economic times you need all the help you can get.

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