Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Johnny Come Lately

I see our good friends at Tesco are marketing extra large condoms.

For the big prick in your life.

I'm going to buy a trolley load of them and sell them as disposable scented sleeping bags at Electric Picnic.

I'll invent a new award for underperformance at work called "Dickhead of the week" where the offending CO has to wear one on his/ her head for a full week.

I'll seek out Assumpta the most pious civil servant the Department has ever employed and fill her desk drawers with them when she isn't looking. And stick one over the mini statue of the Virgin Mary on her desk to really set the whole thing off.

I may even put them to use in their intended purpose. Flattery will get me everywhere.

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