Tuesday, July 29, 2008


... are famous for a fantastic techno track entitled Insomnia.

Which is what I'm suffering from right now, and in six hours I will have to be at work, so may God help anyone who pisses me off at work tomorrow (today?).

Bereft of the Civil Service Code for inducing a vegetative state in which I might get some rest, I've decided to do some more blogging.

I had a look earlier at the Statcounter thing and note that a colleague in the Revenue Commissioners came to the blog by means of a search for "ireland personal hygiene civil service". I hear you my friend, I know what has been inflicted upon you. Although my period of inhaling the aromas of a clerical officer's armpits is over, I have not readily forgotten it.

Other things that the Google search above will bring you to is an information leaflet by the Northern Ireland Civil Service for their employees regarding E. Coli infections. This amused me on many levels, not least the typo announcing that the aforementioned bacterium may be carried asymptomatically "BE cattle".

Employees are advised to "Tell their supervisor if they have symptoms". Yes, it's aimed at staff working with animals and carcasses and poo, but anyone can be infected if they don't wash their hands after going to the toilet or if they eat undercooked meat etc. Even office staff.

I can just see it:

A typical day in the Department. An ashen-faced CO approaches their manager.
CO: I think I might be infected with E-Coli. See this leaflet here. I have to tell you about it.
EO (Jumps out from behind desk and backs away from the CO with hand covering mouth): Oh yeah? What sort of symptoms are you having?
CO: Err... can we go somewhere private?
EO: No, I don't want to be stuck in a small room with you and your filthy germs.
CO: Oh right then. Well, I have just shat more than I ate in a month.
Assembled section: Eurgh!
CO: Do you want to know more details? Like colour, or smell? Actually, you might find that second one out for yourself if you go down the corridor.
EO: That's nothing new in this place. Quick, get out of here and get to the A&E department as fast as you can. Try not to fart on the premises.
CO: Thank you so much. You have been very kind. My last EO made me give a sample. Are you sure you don't want one?
EO: No thanks, my germ warfare days are behind me.

CO staggers to door holding abdomen but doesn't quite make it, explodes, and the entire section get a nice half day being decontaminated with industrial disinfectants in the ambulance bay of the local hospital.

The moral of the story?

There isn't one. It is a shit story.

Boom boom.

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