Saturday, November 3, 2007


Thank FUCK the Department isn't thinking of introducing a swearbox system to discourage employees by hitting us where it hurts most (no, not in the bollocks, for I am a lady, and I do not have these... testicles...).

No, I am thinking of suggesting the introduction of a "Management Speak" box. This will discourage managers more senior than myself from using stupid, hackneyed phrases, such as "going forward", "touching base", "implementation", "strategic outlook" and suchlike. There could be a graduated scheme of penalties depending on the stupidity of the phrase or word used. For instance, anybody saying "Key Performance Indicators" would have to cough up 2 Euro, "critical success factors" would warrant a 5 Euro fine (or a swift kick up the hole) and an instance of "touching base" would result in the perpetrator having their head chopped off.

If this suggestion is "taken on board", my section ALONE could generate enough cash to solve the national debt of Leitrim. And, going forward, maybe another few bob for Bertie.

It's a win-win situation, folks!

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