Sunday, August 12, 2007

Bring back the dress code... now... PLEASE????

Our workplace has a more or less non existent dress code, particularly for those of us not in very senior management or who don't face the public very often. We can come in wearing tracksuit bottoms or jeans or tee shirts with swearing on them. I myself am a scruffy bastard, and like to wear all of the above. I also like to change my clothes when I come home from work (damn the years of school uniforms!), and if I wore these, what the hell would I change into when I get home? So I tidy up a bit for work by wearing trousers that don't have rivets or draw strings, and tops and ladies' shirts with collars.

Having a relaxed dress code is a great thing, but it could be tightened up, just a little:

Three reasons why I say this, based on random observations of people in the corridors:

1. Middle aged women who don't wear bras. Bras should be forced on them by law. There should be a Bra patrol. The security guys could have a reserve of bras under their desk for women who forget to wear one. Actually, they probably do already, the dirty feckers.

2. Girls who wear those tops and jeans that show off the tattoo above their arses that are supposed to be unique but in reality everyone down the local meat market night club has one. A really apt one for that particular part of the lower back for people who work in our office, would be an arrow pointing downwards bearing the legend: "Poo comes out here".

3. Flip flops. They should be banned from the office. There is nothing that distracts and disturbs me more at work than two COs walking up the aisle discussing Saturday night when wearing flip flops:
"And he was GORGEOUS!" **WHACK, WHACK**
"Really?" **WHACK, WHACK**
"Yeah, so I got off with him..."**WHACK, WHACK**

Fucking flip flops. It's not even a proper fucking summer for fuck's sake. And then they wonder why their feet keep getting wet.

As for the blokes, they are less offensive. The ones with dandruff or who smell like cheese could do better, and the ones with nicely sculpted pecs and arses could wear things that give the ladies a better eyeful.

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