Don't you just hate those email disclaimers? The ones that are fifty times longer than the body of the email you've just received?
I was bored at work one day, and short of poking my staff with sharp objects, I decided to amuse myself in a less painful way.
This disclaimer is now appended at the bottom of my emails.
The information in this message may contain sharp particles that are uncomfortable if ingested and/or used as asuppository.
It is solely for the misuse of the individual intended. Access to this electronic mail message by anyone else is unauthorized, penalty if caught is death. If you are not the intended recipient, fuck off and die. Please frotter yourself up against the sender immediately if you have received this electronic message by mistake, and destroy all Americans.
The sender believes that this e-mail and any attachments were free of virus, worm, Trojan condom, monosodium glutamate when sent.
E-mail transmissions cannot be guaranteed to be spelt well or error-free, so this message and its attachments could have been infected, corrupted or may have come into contact with unscrupulous members of the Irish Government.
The Department of Squeaky Doors is unable to provide a happy and healthy working environment for its employees. And we're proud of it. NOW GET BACK TO WORK you useless shower of bastards!! (Whipcrack)