Govstooge v the CPSU

My HEO approached me today with yet another stupid question:

HEO: Govstooge, why haven't you conducted interim PMDS reviews with your staff this summer?

Govstooge: I can't. All my staff are members of the CPSU.

HEO: So?

Govstooge: The CPSU have an embargo on PMDS since March or so of this year?

HEO: So?

Govstooge: (Jesus!) Look, if I was to ask them to fill out their self-assessment forms, I would be asking them to contravene their union's advice.

HEO: So?

Govstooge: Look, knucklehead, what I earn isn't enough to enable me to take on several hundred COs and their union officials - officials, might I add, who generally earn twice what I do.

So as far as I'm concerned PMDS is not happening this year. Haven't you heard?

HEO: No.

Govstooge: Well, maybe if you didn't have such a fetish for listening to Gerry Ryan every morning talking about his holidays and the latest Danish pastry he's shoving down his gob, you might have heard. Actually, now that I seem to know more than you do, can I have your salary?

HEO: No.

HEOs. What are they good for exactly?

Crap day

Anyway, it was a crap day as I pre-empted in my previous post.

Much of it stemmed from the fact that, while I was busy on other tasks, my HEO approached with something pointless and irrelevant for me to do.

"Govstooge, can you get onto Persephone in Hinges and Knobs Division about this matter. I think we should be informed about what's going on with this."

"Isn't it Hinges and Knobs job to do that in the first place? I mean, we've done what we had to do on it and sent it on, it's out of our hands now, isn't it?"

"Don't rely on them to do everything. It may be that they think it's our job to do it, and that THEY'RE doing nothing. It may well fall between the cracks and we could end up with egg on our faces."

"Jesus. Do I get a second EO payslip for doing their job as well? That might help to bring me up to the €50,000 a year we're all said to be getting."

"Heh heh heh. I'm getting more than that... Uhem! Ah, ... no."

"Jesus."

So, I fired off this missive.

From: govstooge@squeakydoors.ie

To: persephone@squeakydoors.ie

Dear Persephone,

Please see attachment.

Can you advise as to what is the status of this project?

I know I've already signed off on it but my HEO's powers of omniscience are receding and there is concern on their part that the project might not be seen to fruition now that it has passed from our division to yours.

If I can be of further assistance to you please return the attachment in the internal mail along with your most recent pay cheque.

If you need anything else please complain to annoyingHEO@squeakydoors.ie.

Kind regards,

Govstooge

Keyholes and Escutcheons Division