Management training

I am on a management course this week. So my brain is overloaded at the moment with lots of stuff about Maslow and organisational psychology. Yecch.

Just a taster of what I am suffering right now..

THIS IS MANDATORY TRAINING FOR ALL MANAGEMNENT GRADES AND WILL INCLUDE A TALK by HR ON PERSONAL PROBLEMS OF INDIVIDUAL STAFF WHICH YOU CAN USE TO BLACKMAIL THEM BY TELLING THEM YOU WILL TELL EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE THAT (eg) THEY WET THE BED.

Role of the Line Manager Supervisor (HITLER AS A CASE STUDY)

Module on Leadership (HITLER MODULE 2)

Management Theory (HOW TO TELL PEOPLE TO JUST F***ING DO IT! WHY THE WORLD NEEDS MORE MANAGERS.)

Assertiveness Training (DO IT OR I WILL F***ING KILL YOU!)

Delegation (YOU DO IT FOR ME OR I WILL KILL YOU. I WILL TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. I'M OFF TO THE PUB)

Time Management (YOU'VE GOT 5 MINUTES TO DO THIS OR I WILL KILL YOU.)

Coaching (YOU HAD BETTER DO IT RIGHT OR I WILL KILL YOU).

Motivation Techniques (DO YOU SEE THIS KNIFE? I WILL USE IT ON YOU IF YOU DON'T WORK HARDER)

Staff Management - Monitoring Performance & Disciplinary Issues (I'M F***ING WATCHING YOU!)

Yikes.